• A Doula is Born: A Birthing Story That Birthed a Doula!

    Hey thanks for clicking this article. In

    this article I describe my last birth experience

    and end with a poem that for me helped

    me seal in what I know now is part of my

    purpose. Which is to be a Doula and be

    there to support other mothers to have

    the birth that they deserve

    yeah so keep reading on how you enjoy

    and I hope it gives you something especially

    empowerment, I hope it empowers you

    whether you're a soon to be mom or

    you are a Doula that is not

    quite born herself yet…

    whether you

    you are a new mum and the baby is

    quite small. I hope & I pray that it

    empowers you and if you need support and

    it's feasible you know I will give it

    within the East Midlands at least, maybe

    at a stretch the West Midlands.

    I'm here for you and even you

    know even if it's just somewhat at the

    end of a phone to talk to and support

    and use me I'm here to serve you.

    Following is a letter that I addressed

    to the:

    “Critical Incident Unit of

    Leicester General Hospital

    I was admitted to hospital on the 4th of

    August 2007. I gave birth on the 6th of

    August 2007 and it was a normal delivery

    with no pain relief except for gas and

    air. My notes do not reflect this they

    suggest that I was given an epidural

    during labour.

    This is my third child I had planned a

    home birth I'd rung in just as I was

    leaving the house to go to Carnival only

    to alert my midwife that my waters had

    broken and that I would probably be

    calling her soon to say my labour had

    started I was over 37 weeks so I was

    safe to have a home birth. I was told

    to still come in and get a quick check

    just in case. Concerned for the safety of

    my unborn child I did as I was told. I

    was told after examination that my baby

    was too high or and that I

    would have to be admitted. The Midwife

    said that she was worried that the cord

    could go around the baby's neck. I had

    felt the baby's head pressing down for

    at least two weeks previously and indeed

    had been told that the baby's head was

    right down but not engaged at my last

    antenatal appointment. I feel the first

    mistake was admitting me when I was due a

    home birth. I delivered my second child

    at home and was at home for most of my first

    labour. I have since

    spoken to health professionals and

    mothers alike who all confirmed that I

    did not have to be in hospital. Even

    though my waters have broken because a

    woman can go two weeks with her water

    broken.

    The baby was comfortable by their

    measurements and I was fine. I just feel

    that I was robbed of the home labour

    since it was it wasn't my first baby and

    I was happy to stay at home too, obviously

    that did not happen.

    Things progressed naturally I did I deliver

    my daughter naturally.

    However following her delivery things

    went quickly downhill. The complications

    I feel were obvious and my birth

    partners agree as do all health

    professionals that I have seen since returning

    home. I've spent two

    days on the same bed in the same

    delivery room because it took all

    concerned that long to diagnose the

    problem. I could not sit upright, every

    time I did I would pass out or feel very

    faint I was losing a lot of blood and

    blood clots massive ones my womb was not

    contracting down properly. It was “high”

    this is I didn't mean anything to me at

    the time but this is what they kept

    saying and my blood pressure was very low.

    Even my skin looked very pale and I usually have

    a darker skin complexion I was

    complaining of pain in my abdomen and a

    lot of pressure down below when the

    complications began I had passed

    out when I came around the doctors and

    midwives were discussing ordering five

    units of blood

    however they went out of the room and

    then after some time they came back in

    my mom and part birthing partner and I began

    to inquire as to where the blood was and

    they told us they did not

    know what we were talking about.

    “Nobody said anything about any blood” but

    all three of us heard them say they

    “needed to order some blood”, as I had “lost

    about 1,700”. At the time like I said

    I didn't know what that meant I was told

    I “couldn't have the blood unless I took

    the pain relief”. When I refused pain

    relief I was told that there was “nothing

    they could do for me” I was repeatedly

    offered pain relief. Some of it I

    was allergic to and I was wearing a red

    wristband alerting all concerned to this.

    It really disturbs me

    when I think about the fact that if my

    mom had not been there I would have been

    the one explaining that I could not have

    the pain relief. They were offering me

    because it could be life-threatening.

    Indeed I lost a cousin earlier that same

    year who was allergic to the pain relief

    she was given.

    By the third morning after

    delivery at 7:30 a.m. I was trying to

    have a bed wash to change the

    blood-soaked mat from underneath me. As

    the midwives accept Jill seemed

    reluctant and I despise

    burdening people my mom had been coming

    up and helping me but the staff wanted

    to get me over to Ward 30 and was saying

    that I should have my breakfast and get

    washed. I was made to feel like I was just acting

    and I was just trying to get extra time

    in hospital, which I hate hospitals!

    I'd still not gotten off the bed

    since delivery or sat

    completely upright. I was left alone to

    try to wash myself and change the mat as

    soon as I started to sit up right I felt faint and

    everything went black.

    This has happened all the time anyway but and I

    had not been through that before so

    I didn't know why I kept fainting every

    time. I said all right let me try again for the umpteenth time!

    But somebody you

    know in that hospital, I now convinced, should have known

    what my symptoms pointed too! I start to cry and I felt a

    strong urge to push and I was very

    scared because it felt a massive whatever

    because it felt massive whatever it was.

    When I looked

    there was old clots stuck to my skin and

    fresh clots. When I looked at the size of

    them it sent me into shock I think. All I

    remember was pressing the button because

    I felt faint then waking up to all the staff

    surrounding me shouting and screaming

    each other effing and blinding.

    I was so glad for one

    particular who I feel saved my life I did

    not get his name but he just came in and

    yelled “she needs to go to theatre

    immediately!” remember I'm writing this to

    them so I'm gonna pause it and tell you

    exactly what happened because I'm sure

    they all remember so I didn't bother

    putting all in writing how they was

    cursing each other you know I'm sorry

    to swear but I'm just telling exactly

    what happened I'm waking up I'm on my

    back I'm opening my eyes and I'm seeing

    an Asian female Dr. and an Asian Male Dr.

    and they seem to be like in charge of

    everybody and I could tell by what they

    were saying that they had just come on

    shift and hadn't been on shift since I

    came in the hospital. So it's they’re first

    time seeing me. They were like: “What the hell is

    going on get her ready prepare for Theatre

    to prep yourself a Theatre?!” etc and

    the people that have been there since

    I've been in arguing with them saying

    that “she's fine” you know just fobbing

    them off and luckily these people are

    higher up so they're like “no listen I

    don't know what the fuck's wrong with

    you but get her ready for theatre now?!”

    and I just like lord thank you for

    these people it was a nightmare

    waiting for someone you know I had

    prayed as soon as I saw myself keep

    fainting the day I delivered I was

    afraid and just was waiting patiently

    with faith just holding on to the faith

    but I felt like I was surrounded by I'm

    not gonna lie, I felt also surrounded by

    some wicked people they

    were just waiting for me to die. That's

    how I felt like it was it was a test of

    my faith and it was definitely character

    building.

    …yes where I was on a path of

    theatre immediately I remember someone

    saying to “just give her gas in air and

    let her calm down” but the Asian Drs were adamant

    that he needed to find out what was

    wrong in Theatre. It was a relief to see someone

    showing real concern at last it was also

    embarrassing too though because I pushed

    out several massive clots while he was

    still in the room but my dignity was

    gone by then.

    I just wanted to be out of the

    hospital take my baby home and get away

    from these demons.

    sorry that's what I'll describe them as

    (the staff were in charge of me before those

    Earth angels of Dr. came on shift). If wasn’t for those

    Earth angels I wouldn't know what

    was going on with me. I assume the others would have

    been trained and experienced, to know what was going

    on with me and we're just watching me suffer.

    I will take this opportunity to also

    say thanks to Gill Vallance who

    contributed to a pleasurable labour as

    much as can be expected

    I feel the Midwives do a tremendous

    job they are under way too much

    pressure and women in general are

    severely undervalued.

    In theatre it was discovered that only part

    of my Placenta had been removed.

    In hindsight I do feel like this is due

    to the last part of my labour being

    rushed. Which if I was at home would not

    have happened my birth partners and

    I all noticed that towards the end

    of the shift there was more clock

    watching. I had written a birth plan yet

    my birth partners had to constantly

    explain that I did not want

    any Syntometrin etc to “speed

    things up” I had not been in labour very

    long anyway and the baby was comfortable.

    I had a strong urge to push when I was

    only seven centimetres dilated

    I got down on my hands and knees and

    stuck my bum up. Something which I had

    found invaluable in previous Labour's. I

    was told that I had to stop doing this

    as I needed to be examined once examined

    I was told that I could not get back in

    that position as I was being monitored

    but had the I the monitor on all

    the whole time. When the next contraction

    came I just had to push and my daughter was

    born.

    I have to say here about being

    on all fours apart from that labour, I just followed

    my body and my body

    always wanted to be in all fours when it

    was time to deliver the baby into the

    world. So that was really just so

    frustrating being told that I

    couldn't do that. and the reason that I

    couldn't do that didn't make sense

    because I had the monitoring to gear on all

    the whole time it hadn’t

    stopped me from moving around.

    I tore and I was told

    that my cervix had came down.

    Again that didn't mean anything to me. My

    birth plan explained that I did not want

    anything to deliver the Placenta. I

    just wanted it to happen naturally as

    with previous Labour's but after several

    efforts to persuade me, I gave in. I

    believe this is what caused the problem

    with my placenta.

    I wouldn't know because I was lying the midwife had me

    lying down but my birth partners both my

    good friend and my mom said that the midwife

    took the cord she wrapped it around her

    hand twice and pulled it. I believe

    that's what made the placenta tear and

    where half of it got left inside me. I'm

    not a medical and practitioner but this is

    common sense like how did it tear?

    Also I was told that I was getting a

    local anaesthetic in Theatres but

    realized afterwards when I had my wits

    about me that it was actually an

    Epidural I had. Which I was dead against

    Fair enough the staff did what they had

    to do and the Almighty bless them for

    that but they should make people clear

    of what they are signing up to.

    It is just like a conveyor belt in there. A

    doctor came up to me on Ward 30 my first

    day in there. This is before the labour started

    and he said “come on

    let's get you over there and induce you”.

    Which as I’ve said I didn’t want

    and stated clearly in my birth plan.

    That is when I bought up that I had been

    told that I would be given at least two

    days to let my body do its own thing. He

    told me “I had Caesarean written on my forehead

    and that he knew I wanted

    a complication free

    labour as with my first two but

    that pregnancy is like getting into the

    car complications should be expected” He

    even seemed to gloat when he saw me

    afterwards.

    When I went over to recovery I was given

    the five units of blood. Imagine I'm

    anaemic by then two to three days

    just losing blood losing massive blood

    clots and only after this Dr. came

    in have the Bloods been ordered for me.

    Even though somebody a group of them

    about three of them said we need to

    order some blood and they decided the

    amount. Yet they refused to give it

    me because I wouldn't take the pain

    killers that would have probably killed

    me. Because I always vomit when I have them

    and imagine I'm fainting & vomiting I

    probably would have choked on my freaking

    vomit. This video is not about that

    because I couldn't get up. Every time I

    got up so far, like 45 degrees I fainted.

    I don't plan to have any

    more children but it terrifies me that

    my life will be in such hands again if I

    do. I think that I mean you know I'm

    single right now. I've always

    thought that maybe one of the

    reasons why I stay single. You know

    don't even put myself anywhere near the

    chance of having any more children is

    because of that trauma.

    I just need to know that my case has been

    investigated and lessons learned and

    procedures put in place to prevent this

    ever happening again please let me know,

    if this has indeed

    happened how could all this and more

    happen?

    Your Sincerely,

    A very concerned Miss N N Wenham.

    So my daughter was

    probably just over a month or six weeks

    old as I remember now because I

    went for my six-week check and my doctor

    was ever so good when I walked in I felt

    strong. I was

    just I don't know about you guys but

    something like that near-death

    experience it just made me cherish life

    so much I was on top of the world. Just in gratitude

    you know this brand-new baby I'm alive

    you know it's the middle of summer the

    sun on my skin like everything was

    precious to me so I wasn't, you know, I

    was out of that situation, I wasn't

    living in the trauma of the situation. I

    was living in the moment everything was

    just so precious.

    I was having like

    traumatic you know flashbacks like early

    in the morning like four o'clock in the

    one and have really disturbing dreams

    I'll be driving or just doing something

    you know take just daily tasks and I

    just really scary flashbacks would come

    to me but apart from that I was

    seriously living my best life. I was so

    in the flow and in tune and just joyous

    and just celebrating life.

    So I've

    come in the surgery for the six-week check

    and before I could

    even sit down the Dr. was like oh my god

    she's reading the screen then looking at me in disbelief

    I’m like okay and I'm like what's the

    matter I know who had only happened six

    weeks ago but I was like you know have you

    had some results or whatever because you

    know you still get your health visitor coming etc is

    something come up with my health

    or my baby's health and she's like “no no”

    cause she saw she alarmed me

    “no no it's alright I'm just reading what

    happened in the hospital” this is before

    I wrote the letter so it's whatever

    they've said about what happened with me

    and she's like you should write letter of

    complaint. Even if you don't send it just

    you know get it out of your system.

    Which I love write anyways

    and so that's why I did it because I

    knew that that's right but I was I

    hadn't made time for it cause I just

    wanted to focus on the good things and

    be positive and you know be upfull. She was

    like “you should get it all down even if

    you don't send it to them just get that

    all that trauma out write it down it'll be

    therapeutic for you and you can send it

    and she'd strongly advise me to send it

    because out of order you know”

    she said some I'm sure something

    don't quote me but she said something

    about the body's got eight pints of

    blood in it and you lost five to six

    pints of blood. Like you was very very

    close to death like you're lucky to be here but

    I knew that I just knew that from how I

    was feeling.

    I just give thanks and I

    wish I could locate that those two

    doctors that actually came in and

    viciously protecting me and defending me

    and which doctors are supposed to do

    making sure I got what I needed.

    Or I may not be sitting here right now, so yeah

    I wrote a poem other day. It's in writing or

    in the impetus to write

    the poem and then finally writing it, I realized

    so much

    I feel just naturally I feel

    all women have got this really got what I

    know now is a Doula in them

    I didn't know what a Doula was but I

    knew that I wanted to change

    something. At that time I wanted to

    obviously focus on bringing up my own

    children and there was just I feel like

    there was a lot going on I was going

    through divorce.

    I just want people to know I am one more in an

    ocean of Doulas so if you need support

    when there is prenatal or personal

    support I'm all about that you give me a

    call I'll put my contact details in the

    description box and somewhere in this

    video as well and I social media handles

    and all that's good stuff but yeah I

    just feel if I can be of service and I

    can be of help and don’t let money be an issue

    its not to me.

    If you feel unsupported you feel

    like you're fighting when you should be

    relaxing right now you're very

    vulnerable give me a bell get in

    touch.

    So yeah made me

    writing this time so it made me realize

    that maybe the 9 to 10 years that's gone

    I had been in fear of them. When really

    they were probably in fear of me

    and I probably internalized that fear as

    that I should be afraid of them because

    I didn't say I was leaving the hospital

    as I was leaving the hospital just

    walking out of hospital at one of my “Doula Excursions”

    someone behind me one of the midwives that

    was ignoring me in the room actually,

    she said oh I know who you are and she

    was tapping into the computer I know who

    you are

    and then I was smiling I said yeah and

    thinking she knows me from somewhere and

    she said yes it's Nzinga Wenham

    10 – 11- 1977 and then she said

    my address to the postcode, and the date and location

    of my last birth, which as I’ve mentioned was trauma ridden

    and then said “we know exactly who you are”.

    I took it as like we know who you

    are like I'm the targeted individual or

    something

    and don't forget it had only been two

    years or maybe a year maybe 18 months I

    can't remember exactly and that I had

    gone through my own trauma.

    So when she said all we know

    we know exactly who you are and gave my vital

    statistics I was like yo! okay then!

    Because I was at this is point “I'm born!” like I

    didn't know the word Doula but “I'm

    going to be out here in these labour rooms”

    because this sh**s got to stop.

    I don't know what it was

    that this is a series of events that I

    think led me to the point where I know I

    needed to use my creative writing as a

    way to heal and release that fear of

    being targeted for standing up for you

    know pregnant women and new

    mothers. I think one of those things was

    definitely, I have an acquaintance who

    does and past life regression and she

    does it according to the Dolores Canon

    method. Where basically you

    get into the Theta state

    it's basically you're in touch with

    your Higher Self and then your

    higher-self

    answers all your questions. So you made a

    list of questions before you went into

    the Past Life Regression. Then the

    answers to all those questions are answered in Theta State.

    One of the things that came

    up during the actual session before I

    got to ask my questions was a labour

    situation and what that was all about.

    Then my practitioner asked my

    higher self what has that

    got something to do with this life. It was just

    that's “this is part of what you should

    be being of service. You should be offering

    how you should be serving humanity and

    it was funny or not funny it was very

    synchronous that two to three days

    before the same cousin who I last Douled for

    told me that she

    was expecting again and that she wanted

    me to be a Doula and I was like what is that?

    She defined what I've been doing. I was

    Like “Absolutely.

    I'll be your Doula.” Even though I

    felt like daunted” it's love

    and love will once there's love involved

    obviously Love casts out all fear.

    I realized

    when she said “we know who you are”, it was

    really like…

    You some people have to

    eliminate certain people, people who walk with

    that low energy, they walk with fear

    you intimidate them, so they

    have to eliminate the threat, they perceive in you, by making

    you feel intimidated that's what I

    realized.

    You know it's like

    those people like you're just minding

    your own business and people say I'm not

    scared of you and you think I don't want

    you to be scared of me. Well then you

    realize they are scared of you. Anyway so

    yeah:

    A Doula Is Born (Doula Reflections):

    As I reflect on my last Birth story

    I see why I am so weary

    of love and my fertility ultimately

    the experience absolutely and totally crushed me

    abuse doesn't even begin to describe guide

    my hand Tehuti and Sesheta scribe

    I am finally taking up the mantle

    after years of healing internal

    trauma so unbelievable

    to save just one woman would be wonderful

    I'd work for free if the truth be told

    a new dawn upon us we almost mould

    we almost shape it by our actions

    heed our calling no distraction

    open your mind no more fatal attraction

    dazzled by degrees rather than divine intuition

    maternity institutions

    licensed natural introspection

    Nature's Way eroded by capitalization

    yet we hold on the horizon a thunderstorm of new mothers of

    yesterday

    saying with that actions we're

    here to stay

    you thought you buried me you didn't

    realize a fierce Doula was born that day

    all doulas clap for yourselves yay!

    I am woman I bend I don't break

    I went into shop and took some deep rest

    now I am

    awake and ready for all the tests

    as I share my experience and inventory

    I go from victim to victory

    by supporting you to experience a joyful birth story

    for more information just call on me

    don't let a negative experience just be

    it's not just the way it is see

    there is another way to birth happily

    join the thousands by changing the narrative with me

    avoid the risk of becoming a tragic story

    instead choose the most empowered birth possibility

    © Copyright Nzinga 2019

    I just want to say as well

    as I think is important to say if if you

    wanted it

    doesn't mean that you

    don't I'm not here to support you if

    you don't need to want

    the but I personally wanted you just

    need to you could still need to have support there

    might be reasons why you need a

    c-section for for example.

    If it's gonna get your baby here

    safely and you are in agreement with it.

    I'm here for you still if you want me

    me with you. So just know that.

    I love you and I want you to love you too

    because that's all you came here to do.

    Enjoy the rest of your fabulous day and I

    hope it's even all the more empowered

    for reading this article peace and much

    love

    ________________________________

    Author Bio

    Nzinga writes about her experience of Wholistic health over 15+ years. She also sell’s Wholistic health Products. Passionate about self-healing and is currently writing about her self healing journey. She also loves writing poetry, short stories, children traditional African stories with a healthy dash of poetry, all of which are ready for publishing.

    Wholistic Health Advisor and Sales Person, Social Media Savvy, Author, Experienced in natural hair styling locs or loose or transitioning in between.

    Nzinga Wenham LLB/ LAW (HONS), Certified as a Sema Kemet (Egyptian) Yoga Yoga Basu (Instructor).

    Formerly a Employment Rights Caseworker & Home-school Facilitator. She currently distributes Health and wellness products, Super-foods Aromatherapy Oils and more.

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