• My Hair Is Too Nega!: To Chocolate Girls Who Feel Their Hair Is Ugly!

    I am moved to write about a recent conversation I had with a beautiful young sister. This article is for you and others it might touch or inspire.

    The young, beautiful sister expressed unpleasant feelings for her hair. I felt moved to offer her and other chocolate girls ways to love their curls and coils more and more deeply every day.

    The sad thing is I know all too well why she feels this way. As a community we do have some serious issues around beauty that all communities are faced with (whether its people wanting thinner lips, thicker lips, wider hips, voluminous hair, straighter hair, more colour in the skin, less colour). There in general there are a lot of people walking around wishing that they could change something about themselves. They pay ridiculous amounts to do so and usually the cost is more than financial. The cost is usually health and wellness.

    I've already written about the damage I experienced when I used chemicals, so I wont repeat that here. According to Dr. Laila Africa the chemicals in chemicals seep into the brain via the skin just like anything that comes into contact with you body. Once in the brain they can cause all sorts of problems, such as depression, etc.

    The most significant point I want to make is: There is beauty in your hair, young sister(s), beauty physically and beyond what the eye can see. Your hair gives you connection to higher realms of existence (angelic) which is why we can to tend to be so creative and in tune when it comes to music and dance the coil of our hair allows us to easily tap into our creative power. Far from being a source of shame your hair is a direct line an antenna if you will. This is back up by science today. Also there is a wealth of information online on how to achieve some undeniably beautiful hair styles.

    Mothers Role. At this point I just want to strongly urge, even caution, mothers especially of young girls to encourage young girls to embrace there daughter's natural beauty. Especially if she has taken the step to embrace it of her own accord. Do not discourage her self exploration instead observe her journey, even share it with her. If you child is young and still quite dependant on you as a primary role model regularly make a point of telling them how beautiful every curl and coil on there head really is. It is really devastating to see the low self image people have especially young people as they are our future. Mother's you have the power to turn that completely around. If your daughter(s) doesn't have a deep love for herself it will make her increasingly vulnerable to all sorts of dangers such as poor choices in life partner due to lack of self value, poor health choices which could lead to a plethora of complications such as obesity, diabetes, depression etc You are moulding the woman she will become pour love into her daily so that she will have plenty of that for herself and even pour that onto all she might encounter. The world does need more of that after all.

    Politics of Hair. Our Hair is extremely over politicised. It tends to define us, it determines who we are, and how much love we deserve. I don't agree with it however, this has been my experience until I decided to change a few things in my life most crucially myself and my perceptions about the world, and who I am in it. I thought like some people probably still do that my hair might hold me back in my career but it has not at all I have worn my locs, and loose natural hair in various employment roles including Employment Rights Caseworker Assistant. I thought that it might determine my joy in love relationships. This has not all been the case I find men to be highly intrigued by my confidence rocking my natural crown weather locs or loose. What I find determines the amount of joy you can experience in intimate unions is the amount of love you hold for yourself to begin with, rather than how your wear your hair. There are lot of myths surrounding our hair and I have dispelled all of them for myself, and so can you.

    There is a saying that fear is false evidence appearing real. If that is true and it is you should go ahead and take a leap of faith or love should I say love for yourself. See how deep you can fall in love with your hair and yourself. Even if you do it for a short period, an experiment, give your hair and yourself a chance you deserve it.

    I hope through my sharing you feel a sense of Empowerment and the thoughts around your hair begin to truly transform into ones of love and even pride.

    Hair Love Home Work:

    Now or next wash day while your hair is wet instead of rushing through the process sit in front of a mirror with some oil (e.g. Olive or Sesame seed oil) burn some sweet smelling incense, light a candle, play soft music, basically create a loving environment for yourself.

    Then sit on a chair, on the floor or on a floor cushion in front of the mirror. Softly look into your eyes, tell your self something sweet such as "your are beautiful and I love every bit of you" repeat this affirmation until you absolutely mean it.

    Now gently massage a little oil in to your damp scalp. Begin to stroke your hair, caress it experiment with it in the mirror enjoy this moment with yourself see what it looks like when you manipulate it, curl it around your fingers, stretch it, let it go, twist it, feel it, notice the thoughts that may come, make a note of them in you r journal, do this again next wash day. Get creative with this moment with yourself expand on my suggestions. If your hair is chemically treated you can still enjoy this experience just notice how you feel about the new growth as compared to the chemically treated hair, journal these feelings. No matter what state the hair on you head is love the way you choose to wear it no matter what. Most importantly it is my prayer that you love the hair that is naturally yours no matter how you choose to wear it.

    Further reading:

    The Science of Black Hair By Audrey Davis- Sivasothy

    Hairlocking: Everything You Need To Know By Nekhena Evans

    Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome By Joy Angela Degruy Leary

    10 Easy Steps to go Natural Without cutting your Hair Off By Nik Scott

    My Hair Is So Happy By Nik Scott

    Dr Ishakamusa Barashango's Black Woman: The Original Guardian Angel


You are viewing the text version of this site.

To view the full version please install the Adobe Flash Player and ensure your web browser has JavaScript enabled.

Need help? check the requirements page.

Get Flash Player